Opening scene

Setting: Jack's home

Characters: old Jack; old Ursula; Matthias

[the camera is on the front door]

Matthias:[knocks on the door and pokes his head in] Only me!

Ursula: [walks from a distance to Matthias from within the room, squinting at first to see him] Little Matthias! It's so good to see you, lad! Come in. Would you like some biscuits?

Matthias: [coming in the door] I'd love some, Gran [Ursula walks past a curtain at the end of the room]

[Jack is sleeping on a straw cot. Ursula kicks the cot rather hard to wake him up as she walks by]

Ursula: Up with you, you lazy old codger. We have company.

Jack: [disoriented] What was that, woman?

Ursula: Your grandson's waitin' for ya. [Ursula turns away; Jack walks the other way, with a very noticeable limp]

[Back to the main room, Jack walks still in a daze, through the curtain. Matthias is sitting in his grandmother's favorite chair]

Matthias: Hello, Gramps.

Jack: Well, if it isn't my eldest grandson. It's good to hear your voice. Did you talk to the Friar?

Matthias: Yes, Gramps

[Ursula walks in with a plate of biscuits]

Ursula: Here are some biscuits, love.

Matthias: Cheers, Gran.

[Jack reaches first; Ursula pulls the tray away]

Ursula: Wait your turn. These are for Matthias.

[Matthias takes a buscuit, then Jack, and Ursula puts the tray on a table without taking one. Matthias sits in U's favorite chair; Jack sits in his own favorite chair.]

Jack: You better let your Gran sit there, son. That's her favorite seat.

Ursula: Pay no heed to your silly grandfather, Matthias. If you want to sit there, go right ahead. [to Jack] Get up, you useless old goat.

[Jack gets up from his chair and lets Ursula sit there; he finds another chair]

Ursula: So what brings you around, Matthias?

Matthias: Well, Gran, I've been around to see Friar Dennis at the Abbey.

Ursula: About your upcoming wedding?

Matthias: Aye.

Ursula: You must be ever so excited.

Matthias: Aye. I believe that Elena is the most lovely maiden in all England.

Jack: Aye, but that's only because it has been long since your grandmother was a maiden.

Ursula: [bashfully giggling, more mouthing the words than saying them] Oh, stop it!

Jack: I suppose you'd like to hear another story about the war.

Matthias: Aye, but... maybe later, Gramps.

Jack: [disappointed] Oh.

Matthias: Well, I went to see Father about the wedding, but also for advice.

Ursula: Why would you see a priest for advice about marriage. You can learn everything about being a good husband and father from your grandfather.

Jack: No, I think the lad has done well.

Ursula: What do you know, you old fool?

Jack: What did Father have to say?

Matthias: [trying to put it into words] Well, Gramps, he said that St. Paul said that the husbands ought to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. And he went on - I don't know if he was still quoting the Scriptures, but that just as Christ laid down His life for His Bride, the Church, so husbands ought to lay down their lives for their brides.

Ursula: Well Jack does plenty of laying down, at any rate.

Matthias: So Reverend Father wants me to contemplate sacrifice, because sacrificial love makes marriage prosper. The key, he said, of a happy marriage is sacrificial love.

Jack: Sacrificial love, you say?

Matthias: Aye, Gramps.

Jack:And what does that mean?

Matthias: Well, you know... sacrifice.

Jack: Well, there's plenty of sacrifice built into marriage, my boy.

Matthias: When I told Father that, he said it was more than that. He said that true love must be selfless.

Jack: [becoming grave] Ah! Selfless love. I do know something about that.

Ursula: I'll fetch us some wine. [Gets up]

Matthias: Ta, Gran! Tell me Gramps.

Jack: [slow, fumbling for words] Well, it's just... Let me put it... If... Ah! it's no use. Old men are good for nothing but for telling old stories. Perhaps I can tell something from my past to explain.

Matthias: Please, Grandpa.

Jack: I'll go back to the end of the war. Kirwan and I served in the war for France for over six years. This was long before that Orleans girl got involved. Of course, you know that Kirwan fought and I served as his armorbearer, carrying the provisions. I became quite proficient in checking to make sure the slain foes were indeed dead.

Matthias: Aye.

Jack: Kirwan, of course, was my master long before we got involved in the war; his family having taken me in as an orphan boy. I had every opportunity to be free, of course, but I enjoyed the arrangement.

Matthias: About selfless love, Gramps...

Jack: Ah, yes, yes. Forgive me, boy. We returned from France to find a surprise waiting for us.

Scene 1

Setting: forest

Characters: Kirwan; Jack; Guard 1; Guard 2

[Kirwan and Jack are carrying their provisions, Jack carrying the bulk of them.]

Kirwan: (robust and proud) I can't wait for the homecoming, Jack. After six years in France, I'm sure I won't pay a penny at the tavern for at least that long, if not more.

Jack: (panting and tired) Are you sure, about that, master?

Kirwan: C'mon, lad! Have you no imagination?

Jack: Have you too much, me lord?

Kirwan: Think about it. I left Scantlebury a simple tradesman, and return a veteran in His Majesty's (takes off hat and bows head) God save him.

Jack: (bowing head, but unable to take off hat) God save him.

Kirwan: ... war. Oh, how I miss the stench of molten iron, lad. The challenge of hammering the perfect sword or shackle before the next customer comes in. And the evenings at the tavern, drinking ale while spending my week's wage at dice. Tell you what, Jack, I do miss the feeling of losing. Those frenchies aren't good for much of anything. I can't wait to see Artis, and Galen, and Vincent, and old Buss challenging me to a drinking contest.

Jack: Didn't Vincent die in Rouen, my lord?

Kirwan: By golly, you're right, my lad. Still. You know who I long to see most of all, Jack.

Jack: [smiling] Mum?

Kirwan: [with a glow of adoration] Ah, yes. My dear mother.

Jack: [quietly smiling] Nobody's dearer to my heart, my lord.

Kirwan: I would hope not. She's my mother because she gave birth to me. She didn't need to take you in as an orphan child. You owe her.

Jack: I know, me lord. I thank God for her every day.

Kirwan: We have much lost time to make up to Mama.

Jack: Indeed, my lord.

Kirwan: We should be home by this time tomorrow, lad. Our friends in Kensington must have let Scantlebury know of our arrival by now. I cannot wait for our reception in our hometown.

Jack: [chuckles]

Kirwan: And what was that for, knave?

Jack: You weren't exactly sent off with festivity, master.

Kirwan: Bah!

Jack: And does Jacob of Ilswich want his money back?

Kirwan: Perhaps he's forgotten.

Jack: Perhaps he hasn't.

Kirwan: You know what your problem is, Jack, you're a pessimist. Always assuming the worst.

Jack: A realist, yes.

Kirwan: If you'd just live for the moment, my boy, you'd appreciate...

Guard 1: [in the distance] Halt! Who goes there?

Kirwan: It is I, Kirwan, the blacksmith of Scantlebury, returning from France.

Guard 1: You're just the man we want.

Kirwan: Looks like a welcome for us, Jack.

Jack: I don't know, master. Something seems wrong.

Kirwan: Nonsense. Scantlebury is just sending a welcome party [waving free hand] Hey! Over here!

[Two guards arrive]

Guard 1: Kirwan of Scantlebury?

Kirwan: Aye.

Guard 1: You're under arrest. Come with us.

Kirwan: Arrest for what?

Guard 1: You'll find out. Give me your sword, sir.

Kirwan: [handing over his sword] You can't win. Amazing! You fight six years for the King. God save him.

All: God save him.

Kirwan: And this is what you get?

Guard 2: Come with us.

Jack: I told you.

Kirwan: Shut up!

Jack: Would you listen to me? No! I'm just a wet blanket.

Kirwan: Shut up!

[They all walk off]

Scene 2

Setting: Scantlebury town square

Characters: Kirwan; Jack; Mayor; Guard 1; Guard 2; Town crier; Townsfolk

(A throng of peasants and a few nobility wait in a general hubbub. On a platform is the Mayor of the town, holding a key and a rolled up certificate, and his deputy, who holds a sack. A banner is strewn across, several feet above the platform, held up by two thin poles, which says, “WELCOME BACK KIRWAN THE BLACKSMITH”. Off to the side is a man in the stockade, beside an empty one. The galloping of horses is heard, leading the peasants to a greater expectation. The galloping stops. Coming on, stage right, is the town crier. The crier goes on the podium.)

Crier: Hear ye, hear ye! Kirwan the Blacksmith, the hero in this interminable war to claim the French lands for England and our King, (takes off his hat and bows the head) God save him…

All: (likewise) God save him!

Crier: Kirwan the Blacksmith approaches! He will be here within the hour!

Mayor: Do you hear that? Let us give him the hero’s welcome he deserves. Kirwan has rescued many lands for England from the French natives. His fame has spread throughout England as a valiant soldier of the King, (takes off his hat, etc,) God save him.

All: God save him!

(Just then, the crowd moves to the left and begins to cheer. The Mayor tries to hush them. Then, entering from the left come Kirwan and Jack. Jack is carrying a large sack across his back, as well as a sword and a shield. Kirwan also holds a sack. Guards come and take the luggage. Kirwan looking surprised, looks around and acknowledges the adulation. Finally, a guard escorts him to the podium. The Mayor gestures the crowd to quiet down.)

Crier: Three cheers for Kirwan. Hip, hip.

All: Hurrah!

Crier: Hip, hip.

All: Hurrah!

Crier: Hip, hip.

All: Hurrah!

Kirwan: When I left here, I would have expected to be brought to the podium to be beheaded. (all laugh)

Mayor: Kirwan, it is my privilege to welcome you back to Scantlebury. The story of your service to the King… God save him.

All: God save him.

Mayor: The story of your service to the King, God save him.

All: God save him.

Mayor: Of your service to the… of your exploits in the name of England make us proud. When you left, we knew you as the hardworking (voice cracks at “king”, coughs)

One in the audience: God save him. (nudged) Oh!

Mayor: … hardworking blacksmith by the south gate. A man of integrity, honesty, and great generosity, although perhaps a little rambunctious sometimes. I’m sure you know the trail from the tavern to the stockade quite well.

(A slight laugh from the audience. Kirwan waves to the man in the stockade like he was an old friend.)

Mayor: (slight pause) When you volunteered to fight in the war for France, we knew you would bring a heart that beats for Mother England, but we also knew that you have not been trained to use the sword, other than the tricks you picked up to test or show off newly made swords. Your Guardian Angel and St. George must have protected you and trained you in the art of war, for the stories that have come back to us are astounding. How you and twenty men rescued over 300 English prisoners from a French prison. Of how you traversed fifteen miles in one night with forty men, and took La Cienne before the townsfolk woke up. Nineteen towns were rescued from the French by your platoon. A giant in service to the King. God save him.

All: God save him.

Mayor: and Mother England. God bless you, Kirwan.

(An ovation)

Mayor: And so, Lord Ripley, who could not be here today, has authorized me, Mayor Maynard of Scantlebury, to present to you, Kirwan, the key to the city, and this certificate of protection, which proclaims that Lord Ripley is your personal patron for life. If anyone shall take you to court, he will defend you himself personally; and if, God forbid, anyone should lay a hand on you, he will see to it personally that justice is attained.

(Applause. Kirwan accepts these graciously.)

Mayor: (gesturing for the crowd to quiet down, hands Kirwan the sack) And last, but not least, His Lordship offers to you, Kirwan, this gift of 150 crowns, to spend any way you like.

(Kirwan and Jack are aghast. Guards take items from Kirwan.)

Crier: Three cheers for Kirwan! Hip, hip.

All: Hurrah!

Crier: Hip, hip.

All Hurrah!

Crier: Hip, hip.

All: Hurrah!

Crier: (singing) For…

All: he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow. For nobody can deny.
For nobody can deny, for nobody can deny. For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow. For he’s a jolly good fellow: And so say all of us.

(Cheers. The Mayor beckons Kirwan to say something. A guard takes the sack. Kirwan exultently comes to the front and is greeted by a new wave of cheers. The Mayor gestures the crowd to quiet down.)

Kirwan: I don’t know what to say. I was just looking forward to putting down my armor and starting up my shop. I’m flattered. And I’m glad to be back home.

(applause)

Kirwan: My going to fight in the war, and any service I rendered to England is not a reflection on me, but upon the King I serve, God save him.

All: God save him.

Kirwan: For what servant is greater than his master?

(applause)

Kirwan: Thank you Mr. Mayor, for this great honor, thank you, town of Scantlebury, express my gratitude to Lord Ripley for me. I’d just like to look for my mother and I’ll see the rest of you at the tavern.

(applause, the crowd breaks up)

Mayor: (aside, quietly) Kirwan, your mother died last winter.

Kirwan: Oh, no!

Mayor: Yes. She heard about many of your exploits before she died, and she was proud of you.

Jack: Master, do you want me to order the usual for you?

Kirwan: No, Jack. Let’s get back to my house first. You can go if you like, but tell them I’m mourning the death of my mother.

[The guards hand Kirwan and Jack back their stuff. Exeunt.]

Scene 3

Setting: at the blacksmith shop

Characters: Kirwan; Jack; Nobleman

(Kirwan is hammering a horseshoe into shape, mumbling angrily, while Jack is counting money. Jack looks toward the door.)

Jack: (to Kirwan, hushed) Stop swearing, my lord, a customer’s here.

(Just then, a nobleman walks in with a sack.)

Jack: Your shoes are almost ready, my lord. That would be one shilling, six pence for both horseshoes.

Noble: (throwing the sack to Jack) I’m sure this will cover it, lad.

(Jack opens his mouth wide when he sees what’s inside,)

Jack: Let me count the change for you.

Noble: Oh, no, no, no. Keep the change.

Kirwan: (collecting the two horseshoes) Careful, my lord, these are hot.

Noble: (pulling out a cloth from his pocket) Put them in here.

Kirwan: God speed you, my lord.

Noble: God be with you.

(The nobleman leaves. Kirwan throws his hammer in obvious frustration.)

Jack: Master, can you believe how much money we’ve been getting since we’ve returned from France?

Kirwan: (in quiet anger) Yes. (After some time of indecision) There was a time when 150 crowns were more money than I’ve ever seen in my life. Fame is good for business, but bad for the soul, Jack. I never have time to rest, anymore.

Jack: (counting the money) You’re telling me! There’s ten pounds here. Can you believe that?

Kirwan: Jack, do you know what I’ve been thinking of?

Jack: Oh?

Kirwan: I’m tired of being ogled over. All my old friends treat me as a lord. Nobility comes from all over Wessex to buy swords, horseshoes, shields. If another seventy year-old man comes to be fitted for a suit of armor, I might just throw him in the kiln.

Jack: Master!

Kirwan: I know, but… All we have to show for our lives is money. There must be more to life than money. Why don’t we give nine-tenths of our money to building the Cathedral, and take the rest and travel. Perhaps we could visit the Holy Land.

Jack: Mmmmmm. It’s one thing to slaughter a few Frenchmen. Do you really want to mess with the Turks?

Kirwan: Not really. How about Rome?

Jack: Two words: Disease and Gypsies.

Kirwan: OK, maybe not Rome. How is your German, Jack?

(Jack rolls his eyes)

Kirwan: OK, Bohemia is out.

Jack: What about Scotland, Master?

Kirwan: Have you ever digested Scottish cooking before, Jack?

Jack: No, Master.

Kirwan: Neither have they.

Jack: (Obviously joking) Why not just roam the English countryside, Master?

Kirwan: (Thinks about it, snaps his fingers) That’s it, Jack. I knew you’d talk sense into me. We’ll just set off and see where our feet take us.

Jack: You can’t be serious! What about the shop?

Kirwan: What about it? C’mon, lad! You only live once.

Jack: My point exactly.

Kirwan: I knew you’d see it my way. (puts arm around Jack) Think of it. Essex, Wales, London. Let’s see a bit of merry old England, Jack. It’s the rover’s life for us, me boy!

Scene 4

Setting: the open road

Characters: Kirwan; Jack

(Kirwan and Jack walk down a path in the woods)

Kirwan: Ah! This is the life, me boy! Going from town to town, no kiln to clean, no worries. We wake up when we want, go to sleep when we want, eat when we’re hungry, drink when we come to a stream, sleep in the long grass.

Jack: And whose idea was it, my lord?

Kirwan: I never doubted your genius, Jack. But don’t let it get to your head.

Jack: What do you mean by that?

Kirwan: There’s nothing more irritating than a servant who thinks too highly of himself.

Jack: Oh, and what problem do you have with someone taking credit for his own work?

Kirwan: Oh, nothing. If a servant does good work, it’s only fair that the master gets credit for it. (he laughs)

Jack: Why you... (picks up a pebble and whizzes it at Kirwan. Both laugh heartily.)

Kirwan: Honestly, Jack. Next thing, you’ll want to be the master, and I the servant.

Jack: Well, now that you mention it...

Kirwan: (laughing) I knew it! You scoundrel. (Bowing low, taking off his hat) Lord Jack.

Jack: You know, I can get used to this.

Kirwan: (laughing) I thought you might. Where might we find your castle, my lord.

Jack: Look around you. Cressingham Forest is my castle.

Kirwan: And your throne, my lord?

Jack: (looks around, finds a tree stump) Here is my throne. (sits on the stump)

Kirwan: And what would you like from me, Your Lordship?

Jack: Amuse me, clown.

Kirwan: (laughing) What?!?

Jack: You heard me, clown: amuse me.

Kirwan: What would you like, my lord? Comedy? Magic tricks? A big knot on the side of your head?

Jack: Sing for me.

Kirwan: What?!?

Jack: Do you have trouble hearing, peasant? SING FOR ME!

Kirwan: (horribly out of tune) I love Lord Jack, he is my friend!
He’ll look after me until the end

Jack: (covering his ears) No, no, no! That won’t do. Do you call yourself a minstrel?

Kirwan: Well, no my lord. That’s my point.

Jack: Dance for me, peasant!

(Kirwan goes into a ridiculous dance)

Jack: Faster, peasant! Faster! Faster! That does it, off with your head! (claps his hands) Kirwan!

Kirwan: (comes to the opposite side) Yes, my lord.

Jack: Take Kirwan to the chopping block.

Kirwan: Come on, lad (acts like he’s fighting himself from going; Jack stands, Kirwan puts his own head on the stump)

Kirwan: (mock despair) No! Mercy! Have mercy, Your Grace!

Jack: Any last words before Kirwan cuts your head off, Kirwan?

Kirwan: You miserable tyrant!

Jack: Make it messy, Kirwan.

Kirwan: Yes, my lord. (screams while he makes a chopping gesture with his hand at his neck. Both laugh hysterically. They start walking)

Kirwan: (A slight pause) Tyrant! (small giggles, a slight pause)

Jack: I say, Master, what do you have planned for us after we finish our meandering?

Kirwan: (Stops walking and looks incredulously at Jack) Finish? What's this you say, “finish”?

Jack: Well, Master...

Kirwan: Are you serious?

Jack: Well... yeah!

Kirwan: Aren't you having fun, Jack?

Jack: Yeah, but...

Kirwan: Well, then! As long as we're enjoying ourselves, there's no need to stop, is there?

Jack: But is this all there is to life? Gallivanting around the English countryside?

Kirwan: And why not?

Jack: And what good are we doing in the meantime?

Kirwan: Well, we're doing good, but not just in the same place. Our Guardian Angels will see to it that we are where we are needed for the time.

(Jack gives a look of disdain and starts to walk away)

Kirwan: Oh, and what is that for, my good SERVANT!

Jack: (yelling) We have a home!

Kirwan: (yelling back) The road is our home!

Jack: Will it always be?

Kirwan: (silenced by that thought) Well, I... (more gentle) I haven't given any thought to that, Jack. I suppose not.

Jack: Master, your time in France is over. You must put it in the past. You must be content with settling down at some point.

Kirwan: Later, Jack. Let's head up to Newcastle, and then we'll start talking about heading home.

Jack: Fair enough, my lord.

Kirwan: (putting his arm around Jack) I just don't miss the kiln and the anvil yet.

[Both laugh and start walking]

Scene 5

Setting: by Gregor's shack

Characters: Kirwan; Jack; Gregor; Leonard

(our heroes walk in the countryside, and hear laughter in the background)

Kirwan: (smiling) Sounds like a party, Jack.

Jack: Heh! Doesn't sound like my kind of party, my lord.

Kirwan: What harm is there in just checking it out?

(Jack shrugs his shoulders. They cut through the forest and find two scraggly men sitting at a makeshift table, outside a makeshift shack, drinking ale from the same jug and laughing.)

Gregor: Well, thy mother is so fat, her garments bear stretch marks.

(The two go into uproarious laughter, as our heroes approach, behind Leonard.)

Leonard: Well, thy mother is so dumb, it taketh her two days to drain an hourglass.

(The two go into uproarious laughter. Gregor puts a knife on the table while laughing. Kirwan only gives a polite smile. Jack shows a slight disdain.)

Gregor: So, Leonard, who are your friends?

Leonard: What do you mean?

Gregor: (pointing behind Leonard) Who are they?

Kirwan: I heard a party going on, so I thought I'd check it out.

Gregor: Who are you?

Kirwan: I'm Kirwan the blacksmith, from Scantlebury. This is my servant, Matthias, who we call Jack.

Jack: (waves shyly) Good afternoon.

Gregor: 'noon.

Leonard: Mmmm.

Gregor: What brings you lads to Cressingham Forest?

Kirwan: We got bored with town life, and city life didn't appeal to us, so we wanted to just travel for the sake of traveling.

Gregor: Rovers, huh?

Kirwan: (looks at Jack) I never thought of it that way before, but... Yeah. I guess you could say we're rovers.

Gregor: (Pleased, puts the knife away) Ah! That's me lads. Have some ale!

(Kirwan takes a swig, though not too enthusiastically. He offers it to Jack, who refuses. He hands the jug back to Leonard.)

Gregor: Me name’s Gregor, and this is me sidekick Leonard. We’s been rovers for sixteen years. We was concerned yous guys was robbers. Lots of robbers in this neck of the woods. Judging from the looks of you, yous been rovers for less than two weeks.

Kirwan: How did you know?

Gregor: First, you can still see the color of your clothes. Second, you looks like yous had a fresh shave and haircut. Fourth, you're not covered with filth. Fifthly, you objected to the bugs in the ale. Fourth, you still carry yourselves like city folk.

Leonard: You get used to the bugs. I've gotten to the point where I can't eat unless I chomp on a good worm or beetle.

Gregor: If you're going to rove, stick with us, lads.

Kirwan: Actually, we have to...

Gregor: You won't survive a month without a guide out here.

Leonard: (pointing to the shack) I bet you can't build a cozy abode like this in a million years.

Kirwan: I'd like to stay, but...

Gregor: Try to knock it down. C'mon, lad, try to knock it down.

(Kirwan beckons Jack. After a meager effort, Jack shrugs his shoulders.)

Gregor: Sturdy, eh?

Kirwan: (looking the shack over) I see no nails. Huh? What keeps it together?

Gregor: Fresh bear dung. It works better than mortar.

Kirwan: Let's go, Jack!

(They leave without saying a word)

Gregor: Hey, wait!

Leonard: They won't make it another week out here.

Gregor: Pity!

Scene 6

Setting: on the road

Characters: Kirwan; Jack; Ursula

Jack: Do you still want to be a rover, Master?

Kirwan: They weren’t rovers, Jack.

Jack: They said they were rovers, my lord.

Kirwan: I could say I’m a bishop, but that doesn’t make me a bishop. They were vagabonds, Jack, not rovers.

Jack: Yes, but they thought they were rovers. I’d be willing to bet you that they set out to be rovers at first, but little by little became the tramps that they are. That could be us someday.

Kirwan: Rubbish!

Jack: Let's just go to this last town and head back.

Kirwan: We'll see. Let’s live for the moment, boy

Jack: I can’t object to that, Master, but the flower of youth is starting to wilt.

Kirwan: Oh, and what do you mean by that, Jack?

Jack: Well, Master, you’re not getting any younger.

Kirwan: I’m only 27, Jack. I can still handle any ruffians we may come across, me boy.

Jack: I don’t doubt that, my lord.

Kirwan: Oh, and what do you doubt, then?

Jack: Have you thought about finding a wife, Master?

Kirwan: (laughs) A wife? I thought you were serious for a second there, Jack.

Jack: I am serious, Master.

Kirwan: (incredulous) What? Now Jack, why on God’s green earth would I want to get married?

Jack: It’s what most people do, my lord.

Kirwan: I’m not most people, am I?

Jack: (laughs) Last time I checked, your blood was still red, my lord. You’ll fall in love some day. (Kirwan laughs) I’m serious. (waxing poetic) If you don’t fall in love, you’re an Angel or a stone. Either your heart can love no one, or it rests in God alone.

Kirwan: Or you could be sane. Jack, I’m disappointed in you.

Jack: Why, Master?

Kirwan: Have I ever once suggested or gave any indication that I could love a woman, or do other than despise the weaker sex?

Jack: Ameeeeeeelia! (laughs)

Kirwan: (laughs) I was fifteen, Jack. Can you tell me...

Jack: (cutting in) Seventeen.

Kirwan: OK, seventeen. I was young and foolish.

Jack: Very foolish, my lord.

Kirwan: OK, very foolish, then. But why should I fall in love? With who? A peasant woman? They have no charm or social tact. A servant girl? Then you’d have to negotiate with her lord. If she’s worthy of my notice, I’m sure he will make it difficult for me to take her from him. A noble woman? Please. They’re all the same. I have yet to find a noble woman with any solid virtue or religion. And you know how ugly noble women are. And look how they treat their servants: like trash. Would you want a noble woman for a mistress? How would you like Lady Ripley for a mistress?

Jack: Not likely.

Kirwan: You’re darn right. I’ll be stone dead before I fall for a noble woman.

Jack: What about a foreign woman, my lord?

Kirwan: You must be joking. Many are beautiful, but they will steal you blind.

Jack: You won’t find any worthy ones out here in the forest, Master.

Kirwan: I think you just talked me into falling in with Gregor, Jack.

[Both laugh, cut off by a Ursula's scream. Kirwan takes off, followerd by Jack]

Scene 7

Setting: woods

Characters: Kirwan; Jack; Lady Judith; Ursula; Other servant; Dead Harold; Head thief; three thieves

[Kirwan and Jack run to where the scream came from, Kirwan brandishing a sword. They come upon this scene: A dead man with sword drawn, another man with his hands in the air, Lady Judith and Ursula are giving jewels and money to four scraggly-dressed men, all of whom have swords]

Head thief: Hurry up! (Slaps Lady J so she falls to the ground)

Kirwan: You cur!

(A fight ensues: Kirwan vs. the four thieves. Kirwan kills two immediately, stabs a third who runs away. As he stabs the third one, he gets stabbed in the left arm by the head thief. They fight. Kirwan eventually kicks the sword out of his hand and stabs him, retrieving the jewels and the gold. He looks at Jack, who is kicking the two slain thieves, Jack nods his head. Exhausted, Kirwan turns to Lady Judith)

Kirwan: Are you alright, my lady?

Lady J: Am I alright? Are you OK?

Kirwan: Of course. These men didn’t know how to handle a sword. Here’s your jewels, my lady.

Lady J: Your arm! Let me bandage it for you.

Kirwan: No, my arm is fine. Just a.... (Lady J. tears the edge of her dress to make a bandage for Kirwan.)

Lady J: You’ll get infection. You saved my money and perhaps my life. You’ll not lose your arm on my account! (Kirwan just smiles)

Kirwan: What were you doing here, anyway, my lady? There are so many robbers about.

Lady J: I know, my good man. That’s why... (sees her guard dead) My poor Harold. He was such a faithful servant. I’m sure my father will see to it that he’s buried as a hero. He didn’t have a chance.

Kirwan. Why don’t I escort you back to your castle. My servant will help yours to carry the corpse of the dead hero, while I insure your safe return.

(Jack and Ursula look at each other)

Lady J: I want so much to say that won’t be necessary, but I can’t. What is your name, my good man?

Kirwan: Kirwan, my lady. Kirwan of Scantlebury. This is my faithful servant Jack. And your name?

Lady J: I’m Lady Judith from Wilmington Castle. This is my dearest handmaiden, Ursula.

Kirwan: (Taking Ursula’s hand) How do you do, madam.

Jack (Taking her hand) Ursula! What a lovely name!

Ursula: (bashful) How do you do, kind sirs?

Kirwan: Well, we’d better set off, then.

(Jack and the other male servant carry the body off.)

Scene 8

Setting: by the town gate

Characters: Kirwan; Jack; Lady Judith; Ursula; Other servant; Dead Harold

(Kirwan and Lady Judith come to the wall, the servants go in ahead of them with the dead body.)

Kirwan: Now, if you’ll let me have my servant back, we’ll be on our way.

Lady J: Nonsense!

Kirwan: Well, we’ll not stay here tonight, my lady.

Lady J: I was talking about getting your servant back. Good servants are hard to find.

(both laugh, followed by an uncomfortable silence, they smile at each other)

Kirwan: Ah! Here comes Jack. We’ll be on our way, my lady.

(Jack returns)

Lady J: No. I’m sure my father would like to reward you himself for your good deed.

Kirwan: I’ll have nothing of the kind. I was just fulfilling my duty. And besides, Jack and I left Scantlebury to get away from nobles throwing their money at us.

Lady J: Will you leave me with no way to express my gratitude?

Kirwan: Let this be my reward: that when I come to Wilmington castle, I know that I will be welcomed as a friend.

Lady J: And so you shall be, kind Kirwan.

(Lady J gives Kirwan a peck on the cheek, Kirwan stands stunned.

Lady J: Thank you, friend. I shall remember you in my devotions. (She gives Kirwan a glance and goes inside the castle, the door closes.)

Kirwan: (stands stunned for several seconds before speaking) (talks gibberish two or three times, before:) You’re welcome, my lady.

Jack: Let’s go, my lord. It’s the rover’s life for us, remember? (Kirwan talks gibberish again. Exeunt)

Scene 9

Setting: by the town gate

Characters: Kirwan; Jack; Porter

(Jack and Kirwan walk up to the castle wall. Kirwan is dressed to the nines.)

Jack: Master, remind me again why we’re here.

Kirwan: To rekindle a friendship. Remember, Lady Judith said we will always find friends here. (calling out) Hello! Hello!

Porter: (not seen) Who the hell are you?

Jack: Ah, the voice of friendship.

Kirwan: (to Jack) Shut up! (to the top of the wall) It is I, Kirwan of Scantlebury.

Porter: Kirwan who?

Kirwan: Ahem. Surely you must be mistaken, my good man, I’m Kirwan, friend of Lady Judith.

Porter: Are you here to clean my lady’s chimney?

Kirwan: Excuse me, do I look like I’m dressed to clean a chimney?

Porter: No, no, I guess not. Where are your tools?

Kirwan: Tools?

Porter: Yeah. You’re here to clean out the manure pits, aren’t you?

Kirwan: Just tell Lady Judith that Kirwan of Scantlebury is here to see her.

Porter: Well, I’ll check. You might just want to get a start on the sewage just in case.

Kirwan: (looking up) Boy, if I wasn’t in polite company, I’d…

Jack: It never stopped you before, my lord. (Kirwan glares at Jack) So, you’re just here to see an old friend.

Kirwan: What are you getting at, Jack?

Jack: One week after you saw her last.

Kirwan: Well, I...

Jack: And a noble woman, at that.

Kirwan Now, look, I ...

Jack: I know, you’re not in love, my lord. All you’ve done for the last week is go on and on about how virtuous she is.

Kirwan: Well, she is. Haven’t you been struck by someone’s virtue before?

Jack: And how much you enjoy her company.

Kirwan: Well, we did enjoy the odd laugh and anecdote on the way

Jack: And, after you had a few at the tavern, I even got you to admit that you thought she was beautiful.

Kirwan: That’s not fair!

Jack: What’s wrong with that, Master? I think she’s a beautiful woman, as well.

Kirwan: (sheepishly) So, you... uh... think so, too, eh?

Jack: Well I would, except you told me that all noble women were ugly.

Kirwan: Rubbish!

(Jack gives Kirwan a glance that catches him in the lie)

Kirwan: Look. Not all noble women are as I described to you, my lad. You can never say never in this life.

Jack: Does that include falling in love, my lord?

(Kirwan doesn’t respond for several seconds)

Porter: Grab your bucket, pissboy. (The door opens, they enter)

Scene 10

Setting: at the throne room

Characters: Kirwan; Jack; Lady Judith; Ursula; Lord Exelton; Lady Exelton; Simon; Guard 3; Guard 4

(There are two guards situated at the exit. Lady Judith walks in with Simon the aide, Ursula, Kirwan, and Jack. Ursula and Jack are talking aside from the others.)

Lady J: Kirwan, my parents will be so excited to meet you. My father scolded me for letting you go that evening.

Kirwan: Well, I had business to attend to, my lady.

Simon: And what trade are you in, son.

Kirwan: I’m a blacksmith, sir.

Simon: Ah, yes. (struck with a thought) Kirwan the blacksmith? Where are you from, my good man?

Kirwan: From Scantlebury.

Simon: Now, just by chance, did you fight in France?

Kirwan: For six years, sir.

Simon: (pleased) I must tell Lord Exelton. He’ll be thrilled to hear the savior of his daughter was the great Kirwan of Scantlebury.

Lady J: (just got it) Kirwan! You’re that Kirwan? I never realized!

Kirwan: Nonsense, my lady. I am just the King’s servant. God save him.

All: God save him.

Kirwan: The greatness of my exploits is to be found in Mother England, such a worthy cause to fight for.

Lady J: Simon, you should have seen him with the sword. He fought four armed robbers as if they were children.

Simon: We must tell Lord and Lady Exelton right away.

Lady J: Don’t run away, Kirwan.

Kirwan: Wild horses couldn’t drag me away from the privilege of meeting your parents, my lady.

(exit Simon and Lady J. Ursula and Jack look at each other for a couple of seconds before she leaves. Kirwan and Jack look around)

Jack: What magnificent artwork, Master.

Kirwan: Now, this is a castle. Lord Ripley’s castle looks like Gregor’s shack next to this.

(Kirwan checks out Guard 2’s armor)

Guard 1: (reaching for his sword) What are you doing, sir?

Kirwan: Just checking out his armor. A skilled swordsman can cut you to ribbons in this. You didn’t try to make it yourself, did you?

Guard 2: No, sir. Our old blacksmith was a drunkard. We don’t even have one now. We’ve been looking for a quality blacksmith ever since old Ebenhard kicked it years ago.

Kirwan: Want me to fix it up right?

Guard 2: Can you, sir? It’s ruddy uncomfortable.

Kirwan: Get back to me. (Guard 2 nods)

Jack: Master, you’re not....

Kirwan: Well, you’re the one who wants to settle down, Jack.

Jack: Here?

Kirwan: Why not? They need a blacksmith. I’m just offering my services.

Jack: I’m guessing you made up your mind before you ever talked to that guard.

Kirwan: (with a glint in his eye) They need a new porter here, too, Jack.

(enter Lady J, Simon, and Lord and Lady Exelton. Lord and Lady E. mount their thrones, Simon stands by them, Lady J stands by Kirwan and Jack.)

Simon: My lord, my lady, may I present to you Kirwan the blacksmith, from Scantlebury.

Kirwan: (taking off the hat and deeply bowing.) It is indeed an honor, my lord, my lady.

Lady E: The honor is ours. I can’t express enough thanks for saving our daughter’s life.

Lord E: For such a deed, I give you anything in our province.

Kirwan: Well, my lord, I was only doing my duty. I couldn’t accept such a generous...

Lord E: Nonsense. I insist that you receive a token of our gratitude.

Kirwan: Well, if you insist, my lord.

Lord E: That’s a good lad. What would you like, up to half of our possessions?

Kirwan: Let me think on that, my lord. Will you give me a couple of days?

Lord E: Of course, my son. I’ll have Simon set you up in an apartment for the next couple of days. When you’re ready, let me know.

Kirwan: That’s very generous of you, my lord. If you should change your mind...

Lord E: I won’t even hear of it. While you’re at Wilmington castle, stay as my honored guest.

Kirwan: The honor is all mine, my lord.

Lord E: Simon, show Kirwan and his servant to the prince’s chambers.

Simon: Very well, my lord. Come on, Kirwan.

Lady J: (gets in their way) Kirwan, I want you to take this as a sign of my gratitude (hands him a necklace) It’s a locket my brother gave to me just before he went away to France, where he died in the war. I want you to have it.

Kirwan: (almost in tears) My lady, I c...

Lady J: No. I want you to have it. (The two clasp hands. Kirwan looks at her. She smiles and walks away)

Simon: Are you ready, sir?

Kirwan: (distracted, looking toward where Lady J went) Yes. (focused, to Simon) Yes. (Exeunt)

Scene 11

Setting: at the prince’s chamber

Characters: Kirwan; Jack; Simon; Guard 3

(enter Simon, Kirwan, Jack, and Guard 3, holding their stuff)

Simon: Now this isn’t a prison, sir. You are free to walk and to go where you will. The guard is kept outside the door in case you need anything. If would like something to eat, or if you would like water for a bath, he is at your beck and call. And if you would like to see Lord and Lady Exelton, or Lady Judith, he will come to fetch me, and I will make the arrangements. If there is anything you need, just let the guard know.

Kirwan: Thank you, Simon.

(Simon and the Guard 1 exit)

Kirwan: Well isn’t this something, Jack?

Jack: Lovely accommodations, my lord. Have you given any thought as to what you’re going to ask from His Lordship, Master?

Kirwan: No. I know exactly what I’m going to ask him for.

Jack: The silverware hanging on the wall, my lord?

Kirwan: No, the golden jewel fashioned from the hearts of Lord and Lady Exelton.

Jack: Oh, no, my lord.

Kirwan: Why not? Did you see the look in her eye when we clasped hands?

Jack: Yes, but...

Kirwan: And this? (holding the locket) This is very precious to her. Don’t you see? This is her way of saying that I’m precious to her.

Jack: I hope you’re right, my lord. Nobility usually wants to marry money.

Kirwan: We were making money hand over fist when we had our shop in Scantlebury. This place hasn’t had a quality blacksmith in years. We’ll be the richest tradesmen in England.

Jack: And what about the parents? Surely His Lordship and Her Ladyship will want their daughter to marry a nobleman.

Kirwan: Didn’t you hear him call me “son”? He wants me to be his son by marriage.

Jack: Are you sure?

Kirwan: Did you see how impressed she was when she found out I was a war hero? Jack, I should know better than to doubt you. It’s time to settle down and fall in love, my boy.

(Jack shakes his head in disbelief)

Scene 12

Setting: at the throne room

Characters: Kirwan; Jack; Lady Judith; Lord Exelton; Lady Exelton; Simon; Guard 3; Guard 4

(Simon, Kirwan, and Jack wait in the throne room. The guards are at the door. Simon acts like he’s looking for someone to come from behind the throne)

Jack: I hope you know what you’re doing, Master.

Kirwan: I know exactly what I’m doing. His Lordship said up to half the castle, right?

Jack: Yes.

Kirwan: Well, he has five daughters. That means I can have up to two-and-a-half of them.

Simon: My lord and my lady approach.

(enter Lord E, Lady E, and Lady J, Lord and Lady E sit on their thrones)

Simon: (bowing and taking off his hat) Kirwan of Scantlebury is ready to make his request, my lord

Lord E: It is my privilege, Kirwan. What would you like?

Kirwan: (taking a deep breath) Well, my lord, I thought of your generous proposition, and I’m quite impressed with your wealth and all your possessions. But there is only one thing I would be interested in. You see, my lord, we left Scantlebury because we felt we were making too much money for our happiness. We had always been poor, but happy. What I’ve come to realize is that being rich does not make one happy, neither does being poor. It is in acquiring and practicing virtue. (Jack rolls his eyes and shakes his head) And there is one thing in your kingdom that I can see that can make me a more virtuous man: (looks at Lady J) first by her example, and then by her inspiration. My lord, I love your daughter, and I wish to take her hand in marriage.

Lord E: Well, Kirwan, you’ve asked for the one thing in the castle that is not mine to give. My daughter’s heart is all her own. If she consents to marrying you, you may marry her. Judith?

Lady J: (embarassed) Kirwan, I...

Kirwan: Just say, yes, my lady. You will never forget for a moment that your husband loves you. (gets on his knees, takes her hand) Please marry me, Judith.

(Judith takes her hand away)

Lord E: I think we’d better leave.

Simon: Aye. Jack?

(Lord and Lady E, Simon, and Jack leave)

Kirwan (standing) What have I done, my lady?

Lady J: Nothing. You’ve done nothing wrong.

Kirwan: Are you pledged to another?

Lady J: No. It’s just...

Kirwan: Please say it, my lady. Have I not proven my worth to you?

Lady J: You have.

Kirwan: Have I not proven my love for you?

Lady J: You have.

Kirwan: Do you not enjoy my company?

Lady J: I do.

Kirwan: Then what is it, my lady? Please tell me!

Lady J: Kirwan, you are gallant and upright, but not handsome. You are noble of character, but not of birth. How do you and your one servant plan to take care of me and my seventeen? (Kirwan cries) Listen, Kirwan, I’m flattered. I like you greatly, but I love you not, nor can I ever love you.

Kirwan: But Judith, you’re the only woman I can ever love!

Lady J: You have a great heart, Kirwan. Give it to someone who will love you in return. I’ll always be your friend, Kirwan. Not just because you saved my life, but because you are so worthy of character. (she walks out)

[Jack comes in, and tries to comfort a weeping Kirwan. Exeunt]

Scene 13

Setting: at the tavern

Characters:
Kirwan; Jack; Drunks

(Present are a few drunks, including Kirwan. Kirwan is taking frequent swigs from a jug, with a pile of flowers at his side, some with the petals already picked off.)

Kirwan: (This flower must have eight petals) She loves me (smiles) she loves me not (mopes and takes a swig) Ah! She loves me (smiles) She loves me not (mopes and takes a swig) She loves me (smiles) Hear that fellas? She loves me (a slight murmuring from the drunks) I’ll drink to that! (Takes a swig) she loves me not. (cries and takes a swig) She loves me (smiles) She loves me... (realizes he took the last petal) not. (drops the petal and stares at it. Picks it up. Jack comes in as he picks it up.)

Jack: Master!

Kirwan: (tearing the petal in two) Ah! She loves me. Did you hear that Jack, she loves me.

Jack: I’ve been looking for you all over town. I knew I should have come here first. Look at you.

Kirwan: And what’s wrong with me?

Jack: You’re soused. You’ve lived like a pig the last two weeks.

Kirwan: But I love her, Jack.

Jack: No you don’t, you love yourself.

Kirwan: Why you... (reaches for his sword, Jack takes it from him and pushes him down. Kirwan weeps.)

Kirwan: How can you say such a hateful thing, Jack?

Jack: Because it’s true.

Kirwan: I do love her, Jack.

Jack: If you loved her, you would be thankful you don’t have her.

Kirwan: Oh? And how do you figure that?

Jack: Do you want to see her happy, Master?

Kirwan: More than anything.

Jack: And could you make her happy?

Kirwan: No. I’m a failure.

Jack: No, you’re not, my lord. If you were a failure, you would try to get her anyway. If you loved her, you would want her happiness above anything else. As it is, you are making her happy by being her friend, right?

Kirwan: Why would she want to be my friend? I’m a failure. (weeps)

Jack: I see I should wait until you’re sober to talk sense into you. But do you remember what she said she liked about you?

Kirwan: (Gets up) She said I was worthy in character. (turns to hurl)

Jack: So seek to make her happy by being her friend, and noble in character. That’s how you made her happy in the past. And then you would be happy, because the one you love is happy. True love is selfless.

Kirwan: Nobility of character. (Throws away the bottle, collapses in Jack’s arms, Jack drags him off.)

Scene 14

Setting: by the town gate

Characters: Kirwan; Jack; Porter

(Jack and Kirwan approach the door)

Jack: I’ve got to say, my lord. The last couple of days, you’ve been downright chipper. What was responsible for the change?

Kirwan: A new resolution.

Jack: Will you fight for her, my lord?

Kirwan: No, Jack. It is my intention to make her happy. She will not have my hand. If she does not love me yet, she will never love me. You’ll find out. (calling out) Hello!

Porter: (caustically) What do you want!

Kirwan: I am Kirwan the blacksmith. I request entrance and an audience with Lord Exelton.

Porter: Yeah. And I’d like to be the Prince of Wales.

Kirwan: I have a key! (waves a large coin)

Porter: Why didn’t you say so? (the door opens)

Kirwan: (to Jack) Money, the universal language.

Scene 15

Setting: at the throne room

Characters: Kirwan; Jack; Lady Judith; Lord Exelton; Lady Exelton; Simon; Guard 3; Guard 4

(Simon, Kirwan and Jack enter)

Kirwan: I hope Lady Judith was not too put off by my proposal.

Simon: Nonsense! She was flattered, just not interested. In fact, she was asking for you, hoping you would not sever her hand of friendship.

Kirwan: To be her friend would be my great honor.

Simon: I’ll tell Lord Exelton you’re here.

Jack: I can’t believe the change that has come over you, Master.

Kirwan: I found the key to my happiness. Do you remember how Lord Exelton would not have me leave without a gift?

Jack: Yes.

Kirwan: I found another gift worthy of Lady Judith to give her.

Jack: I think he meant to give you the gift, my lord.

Kirwan: What is that you said about selfless love, Jack? To give to the one I love is the only gift he can give me. Ah! Here she comes now.

(Lady Judith enters)

Kirwan: (taking off the hat and bowing) My lady. It is good to see you again, as friends still, I hope.

Lady J: Always as friends, good Kirwan. I’m quite pleased to see you again.

Kirwan: You said that I’d always be received as a friend.

Lady J: Yes, of course. Here comes my father.

(enter Simon and Lord E. Lord E mounts his throne.)

Lord E: It’s good to see you, Kirwan. I was afraid we had seen the last of you.

Kirwan: Not as long as I’m received as a friend, you haven’t my lord.

Lord E: (smiles) Always as a friend, good Kirwan. Now, what is it you’ve come to see me about? Simon says you had a proposition to make.

Kirwan: Yes, my lord. The last time I was here, I asked your daughter’s hand in marriage. As this is not possible, I wanted to return to give her, and Your Grace, my hands in service. I understand that your castle needs a blacksmith, so I’d like to offer my services to Your Grace.

Lord E: Why, that would be splendid, Kirwan. You may set up shop anywhere on or around the castle grounds. You may charge anything you wish for the work.

Kirwan: I don’t think my lord understands what I’m proposing. I would like to offer not only my services, but also my freedom to Lady Judith’s service. I wish not to enter Wilmington castle as a tradesman, but as Lady Judith’s servant.

Jack: Master!

Kirwan: On one condition only, that Jack comes with me.

Lord E: Well, son, I don’t… it’s very unusual what you ask.

Lady J: Please don’t, Kirwan.

Kirwan: Nonsense, my lady. I would rather be bound to your service than free alone. “No greater love does a man have than to give his life for his friends”. That is my greatest desire and my happiness, my lady. Please don’t refuse me twice.

Lady J: I don’t know.

Lord E: I will consent if my daughter consents. She’s old enough to make her own decisions. He would make a good servant, Judith.

Jack: And you’re the one who said “good servants are hard to find”.

Lady J: All right then, we’ll try it for three months. If I decide to keep you, you may be my servant, both of you. Simon will show you to your quarters.

Kirwan: Thank you, my lady. Thank you, my lord. It will be my privilege to serve you in Wilmington court.

(Simon leads Kirwan and Jack out. Lord E descends from the throne.)

Lord E: Do you think he will try to entice you, Judith?

Lady J: I don’t think so. (shakes her head) Still, I’m worried about him.

Scene 16

Setting: at the throne room

Characters: Lady Judith; Ursula; Lord Exelton; Lady Exelton; Simon; Sir William

(Lord and Lady E are on their thrones. Lady J and Ursula are off to the side. Simon walks in with Sir William.)

Simon: My lord, my lady, may I present Sir William Gant.

Lord E: Ah, Sir William. My Judith has told us all about your exploits.

Lady E: Your family must be proud.

Sir W: Well, they have said as much.

Lady E: And how is the Duchess doing?

Sir W: Better, my lady. Her condition improves as the weather gets colder.

Lord E: That’s good to hear, son. And what business do you have in Wilmington today?

Sir W: My lord, my lady, I’ve come (clasps hands with Lady J) to ask your daughter’s hand in marriage.

Lord E: Well, I will give my consent to it, if Judith does. Judith?

Lady J: (looking around at Ursula, Lord and Lady E, Simon) Yes. Yes, William, I will marry you.

(The two kiss. Lady E cries.)

Ursula: (enthusiastically) Yes!

Simon: (offering his hand when they are done.) Congratulations, young man. Lady Judith. May you be very happy together.

Lord E: I trust my daughter’s judgement as to your character. You have my blessing to get married.

Sir W: Thank you, my lord. Perhaps we should make the arrangements now.

Lord E: Of course. Let’s do it in my office. Simon!

Simon: Yes, my lord. (Exit all men)

Lady E: (coming off her throne) My Judith! (The two hug)

Ursula: I must tell everyone the good news!

Lady E: Of course, Ursula.

Lady J: No, wait! Maybe you shouldn’t. What will happen when Kirwan finds out?

Ursula: My God! You’re right.

Lady J: He’ll get insanely jealous.

Lady E: Well, we can’t keep it a secret forever.

Lady J: I know, his servant is very sensible. Perhaps, Ursula, you should go and see Jack and ask him how we could best break the news to Kirwan.

Ursula: Me, my lady?

Lady J: That’s right. That way it won’t draw any undue attention.

Ursula: Eek!

Lady J: Now, Ursula, it’s not complicated. Just go down to Kirwan’s shop and say you need to speak to Jack. When you get him alone, ask him how we should break the news to him. You got it?

Ursula: I’ll try.

Lady E: Atta girl. (They turn from Ursula, she’s frozen.)

Lady J: Go!

Ursula: Oh!

(Ursula leaves.)

Scene 17

Setting: at the blacksmith shop

Characters: Kirwan; Jack; Ursula

(Jack is cleaning out the kiln while Kirwan is counting the coins)

Jack: (coughing and filthy) I say, my lord, when do I get a day off?

Kirwan: You’ve seen how business has been, my lad. I think I’m going to hire another servant to do the cleaning and kindling, so you can handle the finances and I can dedicate myself full-time to my craft.

Jack: (getting back to work) Ha! Not likely!

Kirwan: Oh, and why do you say that?

Jack: You’re not a master anymore. You can’t hire anyone.

Kirwan: (reflecting with joy) Ah, yes. I gave my freedom to my lady. Well, then. (jumps to the kiln) Take the rest of the day off, me lad. I’ll clean the kiln.

Jack: Master! You haven’t cleaned a kiln in years!

Kirwan: But this is different. This is my lady’s work. I need to show her what a devoted servant I am. (sets to cleaning the kiln. Doesn’t know he’s doing; murmurs to himself how to do it. Jack watches.)

Kirwan: C’mon, lad, take the day off.

Jack: You’re crazy, me lord.

Kirwan: Crazy for wanting to do good work? We should all be crazy, then.

Jack: I’ll just wash up then. (Goes to the water basin by the door)

Ursula: (without coming in, whispering) Psst! Jack.

Jack: (smiles, loud) Ursula! What a pleasant surprise.

Kirwan: Oh. Hello, Ursula. How is my lady today?

Ursula: Oh, very well, thank you.

Jack: So what brings you around here? Just visiting?

Ursula: You could say that. (mouths something)

Jack: What was that? (Ursula pulls him outside the door)

Ursula: Be quiet! (looks at her hands) Ew! (rubs her filthy hands on her clean dress)

Jack: You’re acting very strangely today. What’s gotten into you?

Ursula: We need to talk.

Jack: (slick) Well, normally it’s the guy...

Ursula: No, no, no. We just don’t know how to tell Kirwan.

Jack: What’s that, then? (peeking in the shop)

Ursula: Lady Judith is getting married.

Jack: (interest piqued) Really? (checks inside the shop)

Ursula: Yes. She’s marrying a nobleman from Kent. We’re all worried that Kirwan will take it the wrong way. We know he still loves Lady Judith.

Jack: He does.

Kirwan: Jack!

Jack: You gave me the rest of the day off, remember?

Kirwan: But I need help.

Jack: It’s for Dame Judith, Master.

Kirwan. Ah, yes. Never mind, then.

Ursula: It’s worse than I thought. What would you suggest?

Jack: I would think... Let Lady Judith go on a journey, and let me tell him while she’s away. And if he can’t handle it, then I’ll tell Lord Exelton, and he can give my master his severance.

(Kirwan overhears his reference, and goes to eavesdrop)

Ursula: I’m scared for what will happen if he should find out.

Jack: Whatever happens, let no one tell him before I have a chance to talk to him.

Kirwan: Indeed, no one will, Jack.

Jack: (scared) Uh... Master!

Kirwan: (Ursula turns to go) Don’t you dare. So, what bit of news are you trying to keep from me, Jack? If it is something that pertains to my offense, I have a right to know.

Jack: Master, please be calm. And please hand me your sword before you do something stupid.

(Kirwan goes in the shop, comes back out, hands Jack his sword in its sheaf.)

Kirwan: Let’s have it, then.

Jack: Well, Master, it’s just that... (pushes Ursula between himself and
Kirwan) Ursula has a bit of news.

Ursula: Jack!

Kirwan: (more gently) Now don’t be frightened, dear Ursula. I need to hear it, so just say it.

Ursula: (starts crying) My lady is getting married. (tries to run off, caught by Jack.)

Kirwan: Yes, and...

Jack: That was the news, my lord.

Kirwan: Is that it?

Jack: Well... yeah.

Kirwan: (laughs) Why that’s splendid news. (Jack and Ursula look at each other in disbelief) That’s wonderful, happy news. I take it my lady is quite happy with the gentleman.

Ursula: Oh, yes.

Kirwan: (excited) Well, I trust my lady’s judgement. He must be a man quite worthy of my lady and will make her very happy. (laughs and hugs Ursula, who is astonished) Drinks are on me tonight, Jack! Extend my heartfelt congratulations to my lady. What is the good man’s name?

Ursula: Sir William Gant, sir.

Kirwan: Long live Sir William Gant, and Lady Judith... Gant (laughs and exits whooping it up)

(Ursula and Jack shrug at each other. Then they smile at each other.)

Jack: Uh, listen. I have the day off. Let’s say you get the day off as well and we’ll take a walk down the stream.

Ursula: I have to ask Dame Judith first, but... (looks around, whispers) I’ll see you in an hour.

Jack: (pleased) All right, then.

Ursula: I hope it gives you enough time to get cleaned up (Giggles and leaves)

Jack: Hey! (looks at his filthy clothes.) It’s not that bad. (he goes in the shop)

Scene 18

Setting: At the blacksmith shop

Characters: Kirwan; Jack; Myron; Glennard

(Jack is sweeping up as Kirwan is hammering a horseshoe into shape)

Jack: Now explain to me again why you are so happy about Sir William and Lady Judith getting married.

Kirwan: Because I love her.

Jack: Right. So you don’t mind sharing her attention, then?

Kirwan: There’s nothing for me to share. She didn’t want my affection, so I won’t offer it. All I desire is my lady’s happiness. Like you said, my boy, true love is selfless. That is all I care about - to be a true lover of my lady. If she loves me not, I shall love her all the more. I pine not for my lady nor intend to woo her. My only concern, my onlt business is to be true to her - a true lover, a true friend. I shall attend to her every wish as if it was a vision of the Mother of God commanding me. When I shall have breathed my last, I hope not that it be said that Kirwan fought bravely for the King, God save him.

Jack: God save him.

Kirwan: ... but only that Kirwan truly loved his lady with all his heart and for her sake alone. Let her despise me all the more during my life, that my love may shine the brighter. Let Kirwan's only legacy be that his love was the most selfless love of in all England.

Jack: I must say, I certainly admire your integrity, my lord. How would you feel if she were to break off her engagement to Sir William?

Kirwan: (stopping work) God forbid! My lady has invested so much affection in Sir William. It couldn’t come without much cost. I’ll tell you this, if Sir William breaks off the engagement, he’s a fool: the King of fools. If it is Lady Judith who breaks off the engagement, then Sir William was found unworthy. And I’m confident my lady fell for neither a fool nor a dolt.

Jack: It’s just that I’ve been hearing rumors...

Kirwan: Yeah, I’ve heard them, too, Jack. Don’t listen to them. Sir William is a good man.

Jack: I hope you’re right.

Kirwan: (in disbelief) What? I know I’m right!

Jack: Okay, Okay.

(a customer walks in)

Jack: Myron the Welsh is here.

Kirwan: Good! Just in time. (grabs another horseshoe, already done) I have your shoes ready for you, sir.

Myron: (in a Welsh accent) Splendid! How much do I owe you?

Kirwan: two shillings.

Myron: (counting it out) Here you go, lad.

Kirwan: Thank you, kind sir.

Myron: Pity about Sir William.

Kirwan: Oh, no. Is he ill?

Myron: No. It appears that he’s been unfaithful to Lady Judith.

Kirwan: Yeah. Don’t listen to the rumors, sir.

Myron: He’s been caught in the act.

Kirwan: Oh, and who told you that?

Myron: Well, Glennard said...

Kirwan: Then you tell Glennard that Kirwan the blacksmith said that he must apologize to Sir William for his idle gossip, and that he must track down everyone he’s said it to. If these rumors do not stop, I, Kirwan, will hold him personally responsible for the rumor, and will exact a price for good Sir William’s sullied name. Do you understand?

Myron: (scared) Yes. (rushes out)

Jack: Well, that was kind of harsh, my lord. Is that the new policy for treating customers?

Kirwan: For those who spread such treacherous lies, it is.

(Glennard rushes in)

Glennard: I heard what you’ve been saying about me, Kirwan. I caught Sir William in the act. Do you call me a liar?

Kirwan: I do.

Glennard: That’s preposterous. Why would I sully Sir William’s good name?

Kirwan: I don’t know, but Sir William would never do as you accuse.

Glennard: Even more to the point, why would you defend him? Everybody knows you’re in love with Lady Judith.

[Kirwan attacks Glennard. After a violent beginning of their fight, they take it offstage. Jack follows.]

Scene 19

Setting: at the throne room

Characters: Jack; Lady Judith; Ursula; Lord Exelton; Lady Exelton; Simon; Guard 3; Guard 4

(Lord and Lady E, Lady J, and Simon are standing and talking, enjoying a drink)

Simon: Lady Judith, what if these rumors are true?

Lady J: And what if they’re not? It wouldn’t be fair to William. Breaking off the engagement would lend credence to the rumors. As long as it’s just rumor, we must be married.

Lady E: Do you think Kirwan might be behind it?

Simon: If there is one person who I know isn’t behind it, my lady, that would be Kirwan. He was just released from the stockade for fighting to defend Sir William’s honor.

Lady J: Kirwan would never do such a thing, Mom.

Lord E: When I find out who started the rumors, I’ll…

(Ursula runs into the room weeping)

Lady J: (very tenderly) Ursula! What’s wrong?

Ursula: My... My La... (can’t catch her breath)

Simon: Here! (hands her a glass of hooch. Ursula drinks, but can’t handle it.)

Lady J: My Ursula, what is wrong?

Ursula: Oh, my lady. It’s true. It’s all true.

(Jack walks in.)

Jack: Simon, I... (runs to Ursula) Ursula, what’s wrong?

Lady J: That’s what we’re trying to figure out.

Lord E: Sit down, my dear. (They sit U. down on a couch. Jack holds her hands.) So, Ursula, you were saying.

Ursula: My lord, it’s all true. I was returning from the well to get water for my lady. And I heard a noise in the bushes. You know, between the well and the old elm tree.

Lord E: Yes.

Ursula: And I saw Sir William (pauses from crying, Jack being ever so tender) kissing another woman.

Jack: Maybe it’s his sister. (Simon nudges him, he realizes) Oooooh!

(Lord E comforts his daughter, who cries on his shoulder)

Lord E: My poor daughter. We’ll see to it that the charlatan is removed from my province, never more to return.

Simon: So, Jack, what did you want?

Jack: It can wait for a more fitting moment.

Ursula: Don’t leave me, yet, Jack. (They clasp hands)

Jack: I’ll return this evening, if not sooner, my sweet. There is something important I must talk with you about. Now is not the time. (Jack leaves.)

Scene 20

Setting: at the blacksmith shop

Characters:
Kirwan
Jack

(Kirwan is putting the finishing touches to a sword, rubbing it with a sandy stone to refine the edges. Jack walks in.)

Kirwan: Where’s Ursula? Did she turn you down, lad?

Jack: I never asked her. The time wasn’t right.

Kirwan: Ah! Weak knees. I know the feeling. You’re going to have to overcome it, Jack.

Jack: I know.

Kirwan: (showing Jack the sword) Look at this, Jack. So sharp, you can carve a gnat in midair with it. I swear I’m getting better all the time.

Jack: Master, we need to talk.

Kirwan: Oh?

Jack: It’s true.

Kirwan: What’s true. That I’m a better blacksmith than ever? (laughs)

Jack: No, Master. The rumors about Sir William. They were true.

Kirwan: (rising with sword in hand. Looks at Jack incredulously. Jack is scared of him.) He what?

Jack: Ursula caught him being unfaithful. Please put the sword down. You’re scaring me.

Kirwan: (pent in rage) The dog! The swine! He deserves to (no longer pent in) DIE!

(Kirwan trashes the shop with his sword. Customer walks in and out during the tantrum. Kirwan looks at the blade, and then starts to bang it edgewise on the anvil)

Jack: Master! What are you doing?

Kirwan: A quick death is too good for him. I’m dulling the blade so that he dies slowly and very painfully. (Jack runs out)

Scene 21

Setting: the throne room

Characters:
Jack
Lord Exelton
Lady Exelton
Lady Judith
Simon

(Lord and Lady E, Lady J, and Simon are standing and talking. Jack comes in short of breath.)

Simon: Good heavens, lad!

Lord E: Are you alright?

Jack: My Lady, you must come. My master is going to kill Sir William if you do not come to stop him. I’ve never seen that rage in him before. Only you can stop him.

(Lady J leaves with Jack)

scene 22

Scene 20, at the prince’s chambers

Characters: Kirwan
Jack
Lady Judith
Sir William

[Sir William is packing his things]

Kirwan: (from outside the room) Sir William!

[William turns around. Kirwan walks in, brandishing his jagged sword.]

Kirwan: You have disgraced my lady. You have hurt my lady. You miserable cur! (spits at Sir W’s feet.) You had the most precious jewel this side of heaven in your hand, and you treated it like rubbish. I’m here to repair my lady’s honor. No death is painful enough for you.

[Kirwan takes a stab and Sir William jumps out of the way, to his sword]

Sir W: I think you’ll find that I’ve handled a sword before.

[The two get into a prolonged fight. Eventually, Kirwan knocks Sir William on the ground, and they fight like that briefly. Lady J and Jack come in when he knocks Sir W down.]

Lady J: Kirwan, stop it!

Kirwan: (turning to her) My lady!

[Sir W stabs him and runs off with only his sword. Kirwan falls to the ground]

Lady J: Kirwan! I’ll fetch a doctor right away.

Kirwan: Don’t! This is the end for me. My lady, I die your good servant.

[Lady J and Jack put Kirwan on the bed and comfort him] I just want you to know that it was my privilege to die in defense of your honor. I would want nothing more, besides a Christian burial and a Mass said for the repose of my soul, than to hear from you that I did not die in vain.

Lady J: But Kirwan, you did. Sir William would have left in disgrace anyway.

Kirwan: Alas, (coughing) Alas, my lady, this is the end for me. Let the record show that Kirwan of Scantlebury’s final battle ended in failure, unless, perhaps, I can hear from your lips words of gratitude.

Lady J: You die my good servant.

Kirwan: Let the record also show that my death was an act of devotion to my mistress. Although the noble Sir William did not love you, I did, as I always have.

[From here Lady J turns away. Wait a few seconds here.]

Kirwan: My lady (coughing) turn to me! Speak words of comfort to me! Don’t leave me to die a (coughing) stranger.

[Kirwan struggles to get that last word out, and then dies Lady J makes the sign of the Cross, and proceeds to walk out solemnly]

Jack: Master! (checks to make sure he’s dead) No! (weeping over Kirwan’s dead body. Then to Lady J) You heartless cow!

Lady J: (turning around) I’m sorry, Jack.

Jack: He asked for words of comfort. Could you not spare a thank you or some expression of gratitude?

Lady J: That’s not what he wanted, Jack. (Jack weeps) No. He wanted me to reciprocate his love. (comes to comfort Jack) Jack, I thought too highly of Kirwan to lie to him. I could never love him. Not the way he wanted me to love him. He gave his life to prove his love for me. And for that, I’m grateful. But in the end, he wanted me to love him in return. For that, he’s at fault. He should have loved someone who could love him also. He deserved better. Kirwan’s love was selfish, because he chose a love that he could not share.